Unsupervised Redneck in the Big Apple

Took a trip to NYC this week for business. I promptly left my umbrella in a cab. "No big deal," I thought, "but I'd better be more careful." About two hours later, I left my wallet in a cab. Dang! I had to call and cancel all my credit cards and put in a fraud alert with Equifax. Luckily, the folks at LaGuardia weren't too hard on me despite my lack of any identification -- they just designated me a "selectee," which meant I had to be frisked and have my bags searched before I could get on the plane.